We've only got 3 weeks left! I am feeling a bit like time can slow down now. It's really nice to have him home at night and for the most part pretty normal hours. We don't know his schedule yet, but I am going to imagine as the new guy they wont be the best hours! Hubby is looking forward to graduation. I think he's ready and a little anxious also to see if this "dream job" is everything he thought it would be. I figure it will take some time however to know if it is truly that.
Going into this I kinda thought the academy would be the easy part (it was by no means EASY!) but ever since day one I was scared of the job itself and thought oh, I have 6 months to get used to the idea and now here we are, it's around the corner. In less than 3 weeks my husband will be a law enforcement officer. Lots of emotions are happening right now. I am flooded with worry, yet proud and happy. Some days I start going through every single worse case scenario that will probably NEVER happen. I will even let it ruin my day or lose sleep at night because I start thinking about all the bad things that could happen or that he could come in contact with and how those things will change him as a person. I am so scared to lose him, not just physically but emotionally too. Along with my kids, he's my everything, my best friend and teammate in this life we have built together. Some days when my mind starts going and thinking of crazy things I tell myself; why are you so worried, it's just a job- at the end of the day, it's not that serious, just calm down. .....Until I see on the news or hear an officer was shot, or worse, killed. Many people just have no respect for law enforcement any more, it's very sad and scary.
These thoughts are no way to make it through life in general and especially as a law enforcement wife, I realize this and am working on it everyday. I am a positive person and plan to remain true to who I am, ALWAYS. I know he's gotten the best training there is out there (his academy is one of the top 3 in our state), he's a smart man AND he's got a FORCE full of trained officers behind him while the criminal(s) do not. ( A great friend fellow LEW told me this a long time ago and it stuck with me)
With all these emotions and thoughts happening, I have decided two things: #1 take things one day at a time AND #2 have faith.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Graduation Day is approaching
This week I ordered hubby's name badge, it felt so official. Finally we're talking GRADUATION! With about 6 weeks left, the planning has begun.
Ready friends? and sis? LETS PLAN A PARTY!!
Ready friends? and sis? LETS PLAN A PARTY!!
Change?
The other night while shinning boots and brass hubby says he's noticed quite a change in most of the other academy students. The way they act, their attitude, their demeanor all the way around. But he hadn't noticed it in himself. He asked if I see or notice a change in him? I looked at him and thought about this for a minute. I haven't seen a change at all actually- what kind of change was he looking for exactly?... because I kinda like him the way he is and was hoping not much change would happen..? I mean I expected some, naturally, but not dramatic. So I responded - what kind of change are you lookin for? He says, oh I don't know, maybe more "official" or something? We both laughed.
After thinking about this for a while I realized something. Hubby has wanted to be a police officer his entire life, as long as he can remember. Since I have known him he's carried himself in a way of someone who holds themselves to a higher standard than most. In his personal life and professional life. He is dedicated, loyal, smart, keeps things tidy, truthful, fair, funny, strong- incredibly strong, his emotions almost always kept in-check. He's the one you call when your in trouble, or when you don't know what to say, because he knows exactly what TO say. He's the guy you want in your corner and the one that will be there if you ask. This is the reason I feel that we've not seen much, if any change in him. This job, is in his blood, it's who he is. He was made to do this. I couldn't be happier or more proud to be supporting him through the journey of achieving his dream.
After thinking about this for a while I realized something. Hubby has wanted to be a police officer his entire life, as long as he can remember. Since I have known him he's carried himself in a way of someone who holds themselves to a higher standard than most. In his personal life and professional life. He is dedicated, loyal, smart, keeps things tidy, truthful, fair, funny, strong- incredibly strong, his emotions almost always kept in-check. He's the one you call when your in trouble, or when you don't know what to say, because he knows exactly what TO say. He's the guy you want in your corner and the one that will be there if you ask. This is the reason I feel that we've not seen much, if any change in him. This job, is in his blood, it's who he is. He was made to do this. I couldn't be happier or more proud to be supporting him through the journey of achieving his dream.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Week 21 and I am READY
Here we are with about 7.5 weeks left! I am excited, scared, nervous, proud and apprehensive all at the same time. 21 weeks we've been at this. It's time. I am ready, he's ready, kids are ready- I think.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Note to Self; GET A HOBBY
This week hubby's on the late schedule at the academy. This means I am all alone just me and my thoughts every evening. (well our German Shepard is laying next to me too of course) The kids are in bed, lunches made, face washed, coffee pot ready for the morning etc. It's all done... sooooo what do I do now?? This is normally the time hubby and I catch up and talk about our day and watch our shows together. I have a few of my own shows on the DVR but caught up on those the first night. It occurs to me I need a hobby (or more TV shows to watch)... but what?!? For now it's going to be blogging(both reading and writing) and enjoying this little bit of quiet time to myself. The fact is, it's temporary. We don't know yet what his shift will be after graduation. Which by the way is now 10 weeks away!!! I finally feel like we are in the home stretch, it feels so good I am really looking forward to graduation day.
Between now and then though I do need to consider a hobby of some sort. I enjoy blogging and plan to continue, but let's be honest there's only so much I can blog about- our lives are not that interesting!! LOL
As we close week 17, I feel really good about our future in this and look forward to it even. I would say I've come a long way from the first day he came to me with this career change and applied for the job. I have ALWAYS supported him, but I was really scared and very apprehensive of what we were getting into. I am still scared, but I feel more prepared and know that he's getting the very best training there is and will continue too with this agency. He's very happy with his career change and I couldn't be happier for him.
Between now and then though I do need to consider a hobby of some sort. I enjoy blogging and plan to continue, but let's be honest there's only so much I can blog about- our lives are not that interesting!! LOL
As we close week 17, I feel really good about our future in this and look forward to it even. I would say I've come a long way from the first day he came to me with this career change and applied for the job. I have ALWAYS supported him, but I was really scared and very apprehensive of what we were getting into. I am still scared, but I feel more prepared and know that he's getting the very best training there is and will continue too with this agency. He's very happy with his career change and I couldn't be happier for him.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Focusing on the NOW
Here we are at week 17! That means only 11 more to go! While I am happy it's moving along I start to think about the job and all it has to offer both negative and positive. With all those thoughts in my head I am having to learn to take things one day at a time. A few great girlfriends gave me some good advise: don't worry so much about how things are going to be? if I can handle "the job"? how will the kids handle it? how will hubby handle it? what about the long hours? is he going to stay with this agency? if so how long? maybe we can move closer to his work? what hours will he have? I could go on all night long! ...The fact is, none of that matters right now! So I am working towards not thinking so much about the future and focus on the now. This for me is a real learning experience.
So speaking of right now; we are doing very well actually. Hubby feels good about the job and how well he's doing at the academy, as do I (most of the time). This week Hubby's hours are 2:30PM-11PM, this means he'll get home about 12:30am. I look at this as a test for the weird hours he'll have when he's a sworn officer. Tonight is the first night. It was nice this morning because he stopped in at his old job first thing(he's been wanting to stop in and say hello to the guys, plus he's kinda nosy so he's probably just itchin to know what's goin on over there) then he got to take the kids to school and stopped by my office for a short visit on his way out. Tomorrow I am off, so I am hoping to have a gym and coffee date with him before he leaves. Although me and the kids will miss him in the evenings at dinner and story time I don't think I'll mind this schedule too much. This past weekend we had a wonderful time at the beach and really spent good quality time together. I've read in other Blogs about making the most of the time when he is off and at home. We did exactly that over this holiday weekend and will again this coming weekend.
Hubby and I are both learning a lot these days and for that I am grateful. Six months is a long time, but I feel it is the necessary time to prepare a family for such a job. I look forward to graduation day when hubby, me, the kids, our families and our friends can celebrate such an accomplishment, because it has sure taken a VILLAGE to get us through these first 17 weeks.... here's to the next 11!
So speaking of right now; we are doing very well actually. Hubby feels good about the job and how well he's doing at the academy, as do I (most of the time). This week Hubby's hours are 2:30PM-11PM, this means he'll get home about 12:30am. I look at this as a test for the weird hours he'll have when he's a sworn officer. Tonight is the first night. It was nice this morning because he stopped in at his old job first thing(he's been wanting to stop in and say hello to the guys, plus he's kinda nosy so he's probably just itchin to know what's goin on over there) then he got to take the kids to school and stopped by my office for a short visit on his way out. Tomorrow I am off, so I am hoping to have a gym and coffee date with him before he leaves. Although me and the kids will miss him in the evenings at dinner and story time I don't think I'll mind this schedule too much. This past weekend we had a wonderful time at the beach and really spent good quality time together. I've read in other Blogs about making the most of the time when he is off and at home. We did exactly that over this holiday weekend and will again this coming weekend.
Hubby and I are both learning a lot these days and for that I am grateful. Six months is a long time, but I feel it is the necessary time to prepare a family for such a job. I look forward to graduation day when hubby, me, the kids, our families and our friends can celebrate such an accomplishment, because it has sure taken a VILLAGE to get us through these first 17 weeks.... here's to the next 11!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Half Way There
This week marks week 14. This means we are half way there!! Although I feel like we should be in at least week 25 by now I am happy to say we've made it half way and feel incredibly proud of how far we've come as a couple, as individuals and as a family. Hubby passed the mid-term Monday (1/31) and was actually not so bad according to him. He was mostly stressed about his Domestic Violence Scenario that was on Wed. Which he also passed, with flying colors.
Going into this I honestly thought the 28 week academy would be manageable, fairly easy actually. It's been far from. I feel that I have grown from it though. I consider myself to be a pretty independent woman and I have proved that to be true in the last 14 weeks. I've mowed the lawn, taken on all the bills and banking, the cleaning, the kids, kids' school, dentist and doctor apt's, cooking dinner, preparing lunches, car/truck maintenance I even took down the Christmas tree and got it out of the house all by myself!! I am considering taking down the outside lights but will give it one more weekend just to see if he'll get a chance to get it done... LOL In all of this I've still managed to make it to the gym too. These are all things the Hubby would regularly help me out with and I am sure he still could from time to time but I feel it is my responsibility as a supportive academy soon-to-be-police wife to get all these things done without complaining and I look at it as practice for when he does start the actual job. HOWEVER I do loose it from time to time and he's there every time to catch me and build me back up. He brings flowers every other week or so and thanks me regularly. The kids are missing him still and that's really hard for me to see. Our girl is asking every hour after 5 when Daddy will be home and running to the window at every car she hears go by or stop. Our boy is acting up I think in part because of his age and it's normal but too he's missing Daddy. I thought by now they would be used to it, but I suppose as children it would take longer to adjust and harder to understand too. For all of their life Daddy was home at the same time every afternoon, they spent over an hour outside with him and our dog (they liked to call it "Porch Sittin with Daddy") then came in to start dinner with him. So I suppose it's ridiculous to think after only 14 weeks they'd be completely fine and used to this big change in our household. They are very excited for him to be a police officer though so we remind them that this 6 months is long, but worth it in the long run. We make the very most of our time with Hubby when he is home and available to us(he's often writing papers, studying, shinning boots and brass, ironing, washing his uniforms). TV goes off right away when he gets home, we eat dinner together, then talk or play a quick board game. Not too long after it's their bed time and he'll read a story to them. Still taking things one day at a time too. Hubby won't talk or even hear about a graduation party yet. I am just itchin to get started on that, I'm thinking, "we are half way there, when can I??!?" For now I am going to focus my party planning energy on our son's upcoming big birthday, get the Hubby through these next 14 weeks while still juggling a job, household and kids... .No worries, I got this! That's what woman/moms do right?!?
In closing of this long post I want to say this: I am thankful that Hubby comes home every night and sleeps with us. Very grateful it is a 6 month academy and not a 1 year deployment! I have huge respect and look up to military families and spouses, I just can't even imagine it. I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE TO OUR COUNTRY! Hubby and I thank you for reading and all the wonderful support we've gotten from family, friends and strangers even. We are blessed. Here is to a New Year full of new beginnings that I am excited yet apprehensive about at the same time.
Going into this I honestly thought the 28 week academy would be manageable, fairly easy actually. It's been far from. I feel that I have grown from it though. I consider myself to be a pretty independent woman and I have proved that to be true in the last 14 weeks. I've mowed the lawn, taken on all the bills and banking, the cleaning, the kids, kids' school, dentist and doctor apt's, cooking dinner, preparing lunches, car/truck maintenance I even took down the Christmas tree and got it out of the house all by myself!! I am considering taking down the outside lights but will give it one more weekend just to see if he'll get a chance to get it done... LOL In all of this I've still managed to make it to the gym too. These are all things the Hubby would regularly help me out with and I am sure he still could from time to time but I feel it is my responsibility as a supportive academy soon-to-be-police wife to get all these things done without complaining and I look at it as practice for when he does start the actual job. HOWEVER I do loose it from time to time and he's there every time to catch me and build me back up. He brings flowers every other week or so and thanks me regularly. The kids are missing him still and that's really hard for me to see. Our girl is asking every hour after 5 when Daddy will be home and running to the window at every car she hears go by or stop. Our boy is acting up I think in part because of his age and it's normal but too he's missing Daddy. I thought by now they would be used to it, but I suppose as children it would take longer to adjust and harder to understand too. For all of their life Daddy was home at the same time every afternoon, they spent over an hour outside with him and our dog (they liked to call it "Porch Sittin with Daddy") then came in to start dinner with him. So I suppose it's ridiculous to think after only 14 weeks they'd be completely fine and used to this big change in our household. They are very excited for him to be a police officer though so we remind them that this 6 months is long, but worth it in the long run. We make the very most of our time with Hubby when he is home and available to us(he's often writing papers, studying, shinning boots and brass, ironing, washing his uniforms). TV goes off right away when he gets home, we eat dinner together, then talk or play a quick board game. Not too long after it's their bed time and he'll read a story to them. Still taking things one day at a time too. Hubby won't talk or even hear about a graduation party yet. I am just itchin to get started on that, I'm thinking, "we are half way there, when can I??!?" For now I am going to focus my party planning energy on our son's upcoming big birthday, get the Hubby through these next 14 weeks while still juggling a job, household and kids... .No worries, I got this! That's what woman/moms do right?!?
In closing of this long post I want to say this: I am thankful that Hubby comes home every night and sleeps with us. Very grateful it is a 6 month academy and not a 1 year deployment! I have huge respect and look up to military families and spouses, I just can't even imagine it. I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE TO OUR COUNTRY! Hubby and I thank you for reading and all the wonderful support we've gotten from family, friends and strangers even. We are blessed. Here is to a New Year full of new beginnings that I am excited yet apprehensive about at the same time.
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