We've only got 3 weeks left! I am feeling a bit like time can slow down now. It's really nice to have him home at night and for the most part pretty normal hours. We don't know his schedule yet, but I am going to imagine as the new guy they wont be the best hours! Hubby is looking forward to graduation. I think he's ready and a little anxious also to see if this "dream job" is everything he thought it would be. I figure it will take some time however to know if it is truly that.
Going into this I kinda thought the academy would be the easy part (it was by no means EASY!) but ever since day one I was scared of the job itself and thought oh, I have 6 months to get used to the idea and now here we are, it's around the corner. In less than 3 weeks my husband will be a law enforcement officer. Lots of emotions are happening right now. I am flooded with worry, yet proud and happy. Some days I start going through every single worse case scenario that will probably NEVER happen. I will even let it ruin my day or lose sleep at night because I start thinking about all the bad things that could happen or that he could come in contact with and how those things will change him as a person. I am so scared to lose him, not just physically but emotionally too. Along with my kids, he's my everything, my best friend and teammate in this life we have built together. Some days when my mind starts going and thinking of crazy things I tell myself; why are you so worried, it's just a job- at the end of the day, it's not that serious, just calm down. .....Until I see on the news or hear an officer was shot, or worse, killed. Many people just have no respect for law enforcement any more, it's very sad and scary.
These thoughts are no way to make it through life in general and especially as a law enforcement wife, I realize this and am working on it everyday. I am a positive person and plan to remain true to who I am, ALWAYS. I know he's gotten the best training there is out there (his academy is one of the top 3 in our state), he's a smart man AND he's got a FORCE full of trained officers behind him while the criminal(s) do not. ( A great friend fellow LEW told me this a long time ago and it stuck with me)
With all these emotions and thoughts happening, I have decided two things: #1 take things one day at a time AND #2 have faith.
